Days unemployed: 9
Number of resumes submitted: 15
Number of interviews: 1
Bank balance: 812.16
Number of Starbucks beverages purchased: 13
Yarn fetish taking over unemployment funds. Absolutely can not stop buying yarn. Don’t know what it is that comes over me when I see a yarn shop or crafts store. Go into frenzied crack addiction mode and start grabbing yarn like crazy, rubbing it on face, sometimes want to dive into bins of yarn and swim in the cushy wool blends. One of the few things that brings comfort right now. So warm and pleasant. Sometimes buy more than need, just because I like being surrounded by balls of yarn like a little gallery of precious bundles of worsted weight joy.
Ran errand for boyfriend today, went to grocery to pick up some basics for soup. Stopped by Walgreens to pick up prescriptions (90.00, frightful really), and of course had to buy two new balls of yarn to continue making hats. Knit one hat this morning and halfway through another one. Trying to get enough together for boyfriend to sell at office. Muggy weather in Chicago today, lots of bugs flying about, especially tiny snot-colored ones that seem quite determined to fly into nose and mouth.
Birds: please eat the excess of bugs outside.
Feel very lost and hopeless. Job search isn’t going very well. If I’m qualified for the job it pays $9.00/hour or it’s some scam job posting or there’s fifty other applicants just like me. Don’t feel worth very much right now. Resent people with marketable skills right now. Couldn’t I have done anything other than creative writing? Surely wouldn’t have been as rewarding but might not be in this predicament. Thought about the Art Institute today. Miss working in the offices there. Felt like I belonged somewhere. Now feel like trying to stuff self into small size H&M clothes because on sale rack. Clearly doesn’t fit but try anyway because it’s on sale. The jobs available to me right now are like the sale rack of employment. There’s always a reason those items went on sale. Either they’re an ugly color or they don’t fit right or all the good sizes are taken and all that’s left is a purple XXXL sweater with a moth hole in it. And even then you consider it because it’s so cheap and maybe if you just tuck it in this way it won’t look so bad.
Wish I had more currency (marketable skills) so wouldn’t have to shop in sale bin (Craigslist job postings).
Don’t know, situation increasingly bleak. Going to go finish this hat and probably run another errand for boyfriend because seems to be only thing capable of doing.