Days unemployed: 1
Number of resumes submitted: 3
Number of interviews: 0
Bank balance: 201.29
Number of Starbucks beverages purchased: 2
Today I woke up and had nowhere to go. It was officially my first Monday being unemployed. Five year plan be damned. Five year plan: rubbish (five year plan: secure job at Art Institute, audit writing classes, publish memoir, go back to grad school, become mid-level administrator for academic institution). It was a modest plan. I was okay with some mediocrity, as long as I made ends meet.
Watched boyfriend get ready for work in the morning. Boyfriend has great position at ad agency, of which I am slightly jealous. Because unemployed, I have been asked by boyfriend to run errand for him while he works. Gladly accepted the chance to feel productive and contribute to relationship. Lately feeling of inadequacy surface. Differences between dating me and owning house pet: very few. Very troublesome.
Days without shower: 2
Reasons to care: 0
Out the door I went with a spritz of cologne and a cigarette. Should really quit smoking to reserve funds. Boyfriend has been buying cigarettes to ween me off awful habit. Cigarettes smoked today:
- waking up cigarette, sets the tone for the rest of the day
- walk to train cigarette, makes the walk go by faster
- walk to S-bux cigarette, makes coffee taste better
- running errand cigarette, makes running errands fun
- after lunch cigarette, helps digestion
Ran into college friends at Art Institute sculpture garden, eagerly awaiting their futures. Hope: sophomoric. Ran into fellow alumni with jobs who had no choice but to offer their opinion on my jobless situation. When you’re unemployed everyone who has a job becomes an expert on getting a job. These said jobbers will offer their advice whether or not it is asked for. Friend with job offered karmic advice: close eyes and envision the perfect job, open eyes and say, “Zack job click click click.” Technique is called karma clicks. Nodded head and tried to appear as though I were taking advice to heart. Had errant thought about birds.
Nature’s alarm clock
Stale bread disposal
Make the corner of Wabash and Madison look like a bird shit Jackson Pollock painting
Walked around H&M and thought about purchasing cardigan but resisted the temptation. Heard catchy MGMT song. Being downtown when unemployed proves very depressing.
Pushed out of the way on train by dreadful woman with equine face.
Number of times I hit refresh on my blackberry email inbox while on train: 7
Number of new emails: 0
Keep thinking job will call, job will email me, will be spotted on the street by stranger and appear superbly employable and be offered a job. Except: unshowered and sweaty from running errand, does not appear employable. Should really shave. Boyfriend says spotty facial hair makes me look like a teenager trying to grow a beard and failing miserably.
Listened to Coldplay and searched for jobs on Craigslist. It must work for someone, why not me? I ask myself this of life in general. I see lots of people making it, significantly more than not. So why not me? I feel as though I did everything right in college, built a solid resume, admittedly never learned to type, but still did my best without this skill. You may say: It’s just a bad economy, you’re just out of college, you’ll find something. Those would be nice things to say but not helpful. It’s not anyone’s fault, I just have a limited number of things I want to hear people say right now.
Things I want to hear people say:
We’re pleased to offer you a position
Errant thought: ants in apartment, must do something about this. Usually at boyfriend’s apartment, tends to neglect own residence. Only return to apartment to change clothes and store things. Apartment: 475$/mo closet.
Received missed call from the following number: 10000000000
God’s phone number?
Off to go apply for more jobs. Tomorrow: another day.